Learning to breath again
There are days when I feel like I am holding my breath. It's a tight chested, teeth gritted, sholder hunching feeling and it's just exhausting. And lately I have spent a lot of time in this position. Life is never going to be easy, if it were we would be bored and lifeless. I used to say "if I could just get the wrinkles out of my sheets I'd be comfortable" but the truth is the wrinkles are where we learn and they help us to be the people we are and the people we will become. We need the wrinkles. So one day I find myself in my breath holding place (for some reason I fight against doing the things that help me)
and I forced myself to drive down to the beach - I parked the car, paid the meter (hell, those are expensive tickets) and sat on a bench over looking the ocean. The gulls were singing and there was a slight cool breeze and I felt my shoulders move away from my ears, my mouth opened and relaxed and I could breath. I had a long talk with God and I stopped trying to do it all myself - It's nice to know you are never alone.