Thursday, May 31, 2012

Little Dancers and a Migraine

Tonight I had to attend the rehearsal of a dance show where the children ranged in age fro 5 years to 14 years old. I love to watch these girls dance.  They are wonderful and they love it, because the joy shows in their dancing, but tonight I had a bad migraine headache I was in bed most of the day with it, but had to get up at 5pm and go to the theatre.  I took four Advil and went, I had to be backstage to help out and watch the kids. There were a couple other adults with me and I thought I'm never going to make it until 9:30pm, but I did - and I was able to because these sweet little girls were so well behaved.  They were nice to each other and helped each other and picked up their trash and were pretty darn quiet.  I was able to sit quietly observing them and didn't have to move around too much - my migraine got a little better as the night went on and even though it was late and they had to be tired they still behaved so sweetly - Thank you my little dancers and I thank your mommies too because they sure did a good job.

loving you

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Effect of People

It's amazing how we effect one another.  Driving to work a man gets cut off and is so angry all the honking in the world doesn't help, so when he arrives at his office he yells at his assistant for nothing and she is upset all day. When she gets home her husband is already home and was trying to make dinner - the kitchen is a disaster- and she yells at him and runs crying upstairs to the bedroom.  The son comes down after finishing his homework and sees his dad in the kitchen and laughs and his dad screams at him, the son goes out into the backyard and sits on the back porch where his dog comes up to him and tries to comfort him and he shoves the dog away.  But the dog doesn't give up and he rubs against him until the son gives in and wraps his arms around the dog and  they both feel better.  Why can't we be more like dogs?

The truth is many things effect our moods, music, food, loud noise, traffic, but nothing effects us more then another person, they can be in a silly mood and pass that on or a rotten mood and pass that on.  I try to use boundaries, so other people's moods won't effect mine (okay, well that's what I want to do, anyway). Their mood is theirs you don't have to take it on.  It is okay to allow someone to feel what and how they are feeling without taking on the drama and insanity for yourself.  Give them the space to be what they need to be and you can save yourself a lot of frustration and anger.  And then you have the opportunity to be the dog and give some love and comfort - when the time is right.

Loving you

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Remembering Dad

Remembering Dad

Memorial Day for me will always be the day my Dad passed away.  He died 19 years ago on May 25, 1992 and it happened to be Memorial Day, which if fitting as he served in the Marines during WWII and was very proud of that.  All the veterans deserve a huge thank you, lots of hugs and love and maybe even some gifts, because the gift they give to us is FREEDOM and that is just priceless. 

I miss my Dad – We were very close, I could tell him anything and I had the honor and privilege to be with him on the night he died.  He was trying so hard to hang on.  I know he was worried that we wouldn’t be okay without him, but my sister Julie and I rubbed his feet and hands and assured him that we would be okay and that we would take care of our Mom and it was okay to let go.  It was hard to say that, I wanted him to stay – I wanted more time to hang out – I wanted him. But to be fair he was so very sick and life was so difficult for him that I couldn’t be as selfish as to beg him to stay in a place he no longer belonged.  It was time for him to go meet up with his dad and mom and wait for the rest of us to follow.  I know that I will see him again.  And I often feel him near me and for this I am grateful and feel comforted.  My nephew has never met my dad, but we have told him so many stories he talks like he knew him personally.  The most amazing thing is that Andrew is so much like my dad at times it’s uncanny.  I love you Dad, say Hi to Grandma and Grandpa.

Loving you


I'm confused

Help me if you can - I can't post from my computer - I don't know what happened, but it started last night I tried to post my Wordle and a memory of my Dad and it wouldn't let me into the posting area it gave a error number, but I have been unable to reach anyone at Blogspot for help - So I cleared my cookies and that didn't help ether.  AAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGG! it is so Frustrating - I am now posting on my nephew's computer and all my pre-written stuff is on my computer.  If any of you have had this problem or know how to contact Blogspot please let me know.

I planned on writing about my dad but had so much trouble with Blogspot I couldn't sorry for this sucky post

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Find Your Peace Change Your Life

Okay, so I’m out there in the world everyday, meeting and greeting people and trying to keep them happy and satisfied, because I am a public servant.  Yes, me.  I am basically shy and don’t like to talk to people, but at work I can step out of my self and be the supervisor who really wants with all my heart (no, I’m not being sarcastic) to make sure people enjoy, learn from and are satisfied with our programs and if they are not, then I am there to find a remedy to the problem.  I really love my job, but it takes a lot out of me on some days, but it’s worth it when I get to see how our programs effect the lives of our community.  Sometimes you have to step out of yourself to give others what they need, but you also have to consider that sometime you need to find a hibernating place to recharge your batteries.  You can only be all in if you’re all there.  I love to sit in the swing in my garden on the sunny days or with a good book in my room on the rainy days.  I love to meet up with my friends for coffee or have my toes done in bright colors.  I love to put on my headphones and surround myself with the music that I love or just go to the beach and sit on a bench above the shore and breath. 

Everyone is different and their peace is going to be different – all you have to do is find what makes you happy, what makes you smile or fills you with a sense of peace and take some time for yourself and you will be surprised what you can conquer.

Find your peace, change your life

Love to you

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Do you know what I’m doing wrong?

I’m not sure what I am doing wrong.  I am new to blogging and I have really enjoyed the challenge of the Blog-a-thon and writing every day, but no one seems to be reading my blog posts, okay so that’s not exactly true – my friends are faithful and read it and I am so grateful, but very few other bloggers have visited me.  Every day I visit blogs and read them and make comments, hoping that I can support that person.  And it’s amazing and slightly intimidating how well everyone writes and the topics I really enjoy.  Maybe my blog is too out there.  I mean it’s about feelings and dealings.  Maybe I’m not specific enough or should pick a topic, but I just have got to say – that I’m really not an expert in any  one area, except maybe my feelings and the stuff I see out there in the world.  If you get a chance to read this I would really appreciate your thoughts and suggestions, because I would like to continue to do this.



Friday, May 25, 2012

me and my garden

Yesterday I was working in the courtyard watering and pulling weeds, the sun was hot on my back the the hose water was cool and felt so good on my feet.  As I was cleaning out the bird bath I noticed in the tree above me there were four birds watching me - okay, I believe they were watching me, when I finished up and filled it with fresh water I kinda waited to see if they would come down for a bath - but they didn't move. So I moved on to another part of the garden and I noticed how many butterflies were around it was so amazing and beautiful - when I finished with the hose I brought it around the to hang is up and there in the birdbath were the four birds who had been watching me, so I quietly walked away and allowed them their privacy.  I love my garden and all that comes with it: birds and butterflies, a raccoon, several friendly squirrels and me. It really has become a place of peace, a place to breath.

Love to you

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I love Yosemite

I love Yosemite
The incredible beauty, the amazing force of nature, all made by the hand of God.  I've been there four times and I haven't seen enough.  We've spotted the climbers on El Capitan (Andrew is standing in the meadow below El Capitan in this photo), We've done the Bridal Vale Fall Trail, We've climbed up to the base of Yosemite Falls (in August) Just breath taking.

The first time I went to Yosemite we came out of the tunnel and almost got into a wreck -  It was an amazing view - there was Half Dome and the falls and all these wonderful trees - I felt so happy and at home.  I can't wait to go back, maybe someday I'll retire there.

Andrew, his dad, his friend Brett and his father hiked up to Half Dome. (the picture above is one of the falls on the way up)  They told us it was hard, but so beautiful - I don't think I'll ever make that trip, but it is something to aspire to and dream about.  I look around where I live, a place I really love, but it is so impacted with buildings and homes and refineries and everything that when you go to a place like Yosemite it is like living in a dream - one I don't want to wake up from.  If you ever question if there is a God, go to Yosemite and you will know that he lives.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Watch what you say

First of all - I'm just saying  I am hard of hearing - it's just the way it is - in our home the older you get the louder the TV.
And a lot of times if the speaker is not facing me I can't understand what they are saying.  I get so tired of saying "What" that sometimes I will just nod and smile and say, "uh huh, oh yeah"  sometimes it works and sometime I get some real weird looks - whatever.

But have you noticed some people talk and talk and say absolutely nothing, they can't stand the silence or maybe they fear it, so they go on and on and on.

I have to confess I do that when I nervous.

And then there are people who you can't turn your back on, because they talk so much trash to you about others it makes you wonder what they say about you.

Sometimes I just want the peace of silence and sometimes I crave the talk, but your mouth can be a weapon - it can cause pain or humiliation, it can change lives.  It is really important to remember you will make a difference in the lives of the people you touch  - whether good or bad is up to you.

Talk nice!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


I sat at the computer
trying to decide
if I should post on my blog
or just find a place to hide

my eyes are so tired
I can hardly see
I've worked my butt off
it's can be hard to be me

My car broke down
my head does ache
my eyes want to close
please give me a break

but even when everything
is looking so bleak
I just look up
and begin to speak

I talk to God
and let Him know
that I just can't do it
so I'm gonna let go

I going to give it to Him
and lay down my head
I know he will help me
So I can safely go to bed

I ask him to bless
my Mom with His love
so she will know
He is always above

I ask Him to bless
my sister too
and Stand beside her
So she can do what she needs to do

I ask Him to watch over
my sweet, handsome boy
to show him forgiveness
and give him some joy

I ask for my family
and all of my friends
His blessings and love
for all hearts to mend

Then finally I ask
for His loving grace
to help me strong
in seeking His face.

I know that He hears me
I know this is true
that we walk together
in all that I do

so now that I shared this
from deep in my heart
Sleep well, sweet dreams
 'cuz now we must part.

Good night  :O)

Monday, May 21, 2012

Haiku Day

A sailboat bobbing
Warm in the summer moonlight
He squeezes her hand

Cool summer breezes
Crackling fire pit
Where is my s'more

Star filled dessert sky
Silence on a summer night
I can breath again

Sunday, May 20, 2012

New Jersey House Wives?

It's all too much,
she said, shaking her head,
I'm really exhausted,
I'm going to bed.

I'm going to turn on New Jersey,
put on my pajama,
lay on the bed,
and enjoy someone else's drama.

I'm with ya, I tell her,
life is real tough,
but, watching Jersey,
they all have it so rough,

I must be so hard,
To be so rich,
to do what you want,
and act like a bitch.

I'm not real sure,
why I like this show,
but some of the characters,
really seem to know,

that family is what matters,
and they authentically try,
to give love and support,
This I cannot deny.

who is your favorite?
my sister asks me.
Caroline for sure,
on this we agree.

I really like Melissa,
and her husband Joe,
but Theresa is terrible,
and her husband blows.

The rest are okay,
and Kathy I like,
her daughter is cool,
and her son is alright.

some behavior is amazing,
sometimes hard to believe,
that they'd air all their nasties,
on prime time TV.

I know that I watch it,
that their rating is high,
but if push comes to shove,
Just give me CSI!

Saturday, May 19, 2012


Have you ever noticed that no matter how much laundry you do there is always more to do.  The other day I had finished my final load and was folding the warm towels fresh from the dryer and I turned around to leave the laundry room and there was an entire hamper full of dirty  boy clothes sitting there.  It's like it springs up out of no where and you start all over again. 

I have to be honest.  I love the smell of fresh clean laundry, from the dryer or on the line there is just something about it that makes me feel good.

Now I know everyone knows about missing socks.  Where is the missing sock?  There is a black hole out there that sucks them in or there is a sock eating critter that lives in every laundry room.  Well this year I decided I was going to try to be more positive and optimistic - so, I no longer complain about missing socks I just thank God for sending me extras.

When I was a kid, my mom ironed everything, hankies (for you young ones, a hankie is a re-useable Kleenex), shirts, dresses, pants and even the bed sheets.  I have never understood why bedding needed to be ironed or why you would spend time ironing something that you were going to blow your nose on.  Even at my age now I have to wonder.

There are few things that you can actually count on, having to pay taxes, jury duty, the sun rising and the sun setting, dying and Laundry.  It's some how comforting to know it will always be there for me.


Friday, May 18, 2012

Watching you all grow up

I love these guys

I've known you since Kindergarten, I've watched you grow up and it's been such a privilege.  Thank you for sharing your life with me.  Thank you for becoming the men that you are and thank you for what you will become, because I know you will touch the world and change it. I will never forget all the things that I've seen you through, seen you accomplish and how I have seen you grow.  It never ceases to amaze me. 

 It's been Tiger Cubs to Boys Scouts and basketball, baseball and soccer. The birthday parties and sleep-overs, camp outs and day trips, and New Years Eve  and Vegas Baby!

You've stood together and you've stood on your own, but you always are there when someone is in need.  You are brothers and friends and you will know each other all your lives no matter where life takes you.

You will always make me smile, and worry, and wonder and pray.

I've enjoyed traveling this journey with you.

Watching you grow and change, sports and theatre, student council and art. You are a wonderfully diverse group, smart, athletic and talented and I am so proud of you.

You've come from Edison and Yukon, Magruder to North High and now on the verge of graduation and soon you will be off and into the world traveling to colleges, universities and schools, finding your place, but this will always be home and you will always be welcome. 

I take off my hat and bow deeply to you and all you've accomplished.

Stand up and be proud!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Summer is coming

Summer is coming and I can't wait. The other day I was sitting on a bench and the person just down from me started putting on sun screen.  And suddenly I smelled summer. It took me back to my uncle's backyard pool where I would spend the summer with all my cousins.  It was such a wonderful time. 

The taste of water melon does the same thing.  Such a wonderful feeling. I love the summer it makes me feel young.  I want my summer vacation - I want to hang out at the beach - I want to play in the pool and have a fourth of July picnic.  I want to hang out with my cousins and laugh. I want to go camping this summer in a place where there is water to swim in and sun to warm in and friends to laugh with and Marshmallows to toast, it isn't summer without them. 

Summer is the honey suckle blooms and bumble bees, butterflies and sprinklers on high. It the raised voices of children at play, and eating out on the patio, riding bikes and fires in the fire pit.  Summer is not just a season - it's a feeling in my heart and I can have it even on the coldest day and it warms my heart and soul.  So, to all of you - welcome to the summer, go out in the sun and have some fun, but don't forget the sunscreen!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

a little poem

Give me a break
I just need some time
to wander alone
and settle my mind

I need time to think
To close my eyes
To process and think
 Just stare at the sky

I want to feel steady
I want to feel strong
Just give me a moment
It won't take long

And then I'll be ready
To take it all in
To handle this life
To do it again

Yes, the crazy day
and the nutty nights
the laughter, the arguments
and even the fights

Why do I do it
you keep asking me
I love them all
They're my family

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Me so tired

Me so tired
It's been a really long day
not a bad day, but long.

Just need to lay my head down and close these baby blues.

So I can see what's going on inside my mind
so many things,
oh so many things

I want to sleep with the innocence of one with
no un-responded  responsibilities.

but that isn't gong to happen -  my responsibilities are backed up over the airport -
so I will crawl into my bed and start my "God bless yous" and I will drift off into a peaceful sleep - not innocent, but close enough to rest.

And that is all I need.
Sweet Dreams Y'all.

Monday, May 14, 2012

I love manatees

A manatee is the most gentle animal.  They have sweet faces and they love people. They are gentle by nature.

They don't hurt anyone and they love to be touched. 

People could learn a lot from the manatee.