Saturday, May 12, 2012

Facing Changes

I have such a difficult time with change.  Life is so complicated already - and just when you get used to the way things are - they change.  My dad once told me that the only thing you can really count on is change - I know he was joking, but sometimes those word haunt me.  Change can be really, really positive and even that kind of change takes getting used to, but when life turns a corner and you find yourself viewing things from a whole different prospective (like upside down hanging from your toes) and you just want to put your head in your hands and cover your eyes... you gotta lean on your faith, send up a little prayer, take a deep breath and march on. 

I look at my Mom, who has been through many, many difficult health challenges and she always, always marched fearcely on.  You couldn't hold her down she faced the challenges and the changes head-on like a warrior going to battle.  You learn a lot from watching people go through difficulties in their lives.  And you grow a lot from facing your own, but lately I haven't be as courageous with the changes I'm facing - I would really like to bury my head under the covers and hide, but - alas that is not possible I must take part actually I am one of the key players and I can't let my team down. 

 Mom is struggling with dementia that is caused by little strokes or TIAs and lately I have seen uncanny changes in her.  It's sad and to be honest it makes me a little mad.  I want her back,  I want the real deal, I miss her.  She is still our pretty little Mama, but the fearce warrior is gone, she can't fight this one off, it is a mercless apponent, but she is happy. She  makes amazing crocheted items - she makes blankets for war vetrans, terminally sick children and tiniest little premies.  She comforts and touches people all over the place with her yarn wonders, so maybe the change won't be the one I would hope for, but the acceptance of the gift that God has given her and her ability to reach out to the world with it. 

Mom's  memory maybe fading, but her spirit never will.

I love you Mom - Happy Mother's Day! 


1 comment:

  1. That a good description of your mother. Love her.